Here are the five most common factors that I have found that seem to lie at the root of most arguments, disagreements and divorces:
1. A lack of commitment on the part of one or both people in the relationship. In other words there is only partial or a half commitment to the relationship. It's when the partners say something like, "I'll go half way and you half way," and as soon as one party decides to go less than 50 percent a split usually opens up in the relationship, which usually grows wider over time.
2. Trying to change the other person is another common reason for relationships breaking up. When you try to change another person or expect the other person to change it is simply another form of rejection. It's another way of one partner saying to the other, "You're not good enough for me." Whenever you try to change another person you are implying that he or she is not good enough for you and you trigger a feelings of anger and resentment in that person.
3. Another common reason for the break-up of relationships is jealousy. Jealousy is always experienced in the mind and heart of the person feeling the emotion. It is an emotion that rises from a feeling of low self-esteem and feelings of personal inferiority. The person who feels jealous in a relationship feels that no one could ever love him or her for being the kind of person that he or she is.
4. Self-Pity or feeling sorry for something that your partner has either done or not done to or for you is a often found as a reason for relationships breaking-up. Often people will experience self-pity because their partner will be so busy or happy with his or her own work or career that the person experiencing the self-pity feels left out.
5. Negative expectations are a common cause for relationships breaking up. This is when you expect your partner to do something to disappoint you. In life our expectations either positive or negative tend to be fulfilled. The most important words you can ever say to your partner or spouse are "I love you" and "I believe in you."